Last night I sat down at the computer (dishes done, kids in bed, etc.) and opened my email…and spotted a message that caused my heart to race. My Kirkus review was ready.
I wasn’t sure if I should open the email or delete. Of course I would open it, but still. Unless you’re actually from another planet, most of us fear criticism. Or maybe it’s not simply criticism, since I’ve faced and survived plenty in my life. As a woman in a technical field, I’ve worked hard to be a useful member of the team and teach others what I’ve learned along the way. I don’t always get the answer right. Sometimes a guess is the best I can give, and a bad review has nothing on making the wrong choice for people who depend on me.
I think the real fear is of the unknown. In that moment, I could imagine quite a few unsavory words hiding behind that mouse click. Three clicks later (shaking hands), I got to read the words I’d waited for. Good or bad, they were mine.
As it turns out, Kirkus didn’t say my book sucked (at least I don’t think they did). It felt good to see them call it an “enjoyable page-turner” and “a surprisingly fresh paranormal romance.”
And for the “unanswered questions”, I like to think in life there’s always a reason.